


Viola and Indie Boy

by KuroXan, orangetree



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Never Met, Awkward Crush, Awkwardness, Band Fic, Band lead Stan, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Like chapter 2, M/M, Pining, Soft Boys, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Violaist Craig, indie band au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-14 17:28:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18480934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroXan/pseuds/KuroXan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangetree/pseuds/orangetree
Summary: It all started when Stan was watching TV. He  saw something amazing that blew his fifteen year old mind. He dragged his guitar from his basement and started playing. He starts a band and things in his life are going well.Craig was a prodigy from a young age, loved for his talents for playing the viola he grows up surrounded by music. He's in the peak of his career and he finally has some down time between his tours.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Me and OrangeTree have collabed to bring you this fine Staig Fic. Hope you enjoy! We both love comments so don't be afraid to leave one! -KuroXan

Stan was fifteen when he first heard about the viola prodigy. He was mindlessly flipping through tv channels when he saw a program with one of the boy’s recorded performances. He stopped his senseless browsing and stopped to watch him, it really was something else. They were same age but here he was, lazily watching television as he tried to ignore his homework while a kid his age was playing music he was passionate about. He could tell by the way the boy’s big blue eyes would flicker between his fingers and his bow, like he wasn’t being watched by millions. It wasn’t about the audience, it was his love for the music that radiated through.

He decided to dig through the basement to find his dad’s old guitar, he hadn’t touched it since his dad tried to teach him when he was ten. Suddenly motivated, he dragged the old thing into his room and relearnt how to play by watching YouTube videos, it didn’t take long luckily. He always had an ear for music.

Not even a week went by when his dad found out, he came home early one cold Monday night. Randy sat Stan down and gave him an unhelpful talk about how a life of music would lead him to a life of misery. As any teenager would, he didn’t listen to a single word his dad uttered and went back to his room and started playing again. He made sure his door was locked so his dad wouldn’t be able stop him. At least he tried to, but his dad kept shouting at him through the door, so he threw open his laptop and tried to search for the boy who inspired all this, in his excitement, he never learned his name. The boy wasn’t hard to find, he turned out to not only be a viola prodigy but also a famous classical music musician in general. His name was Craig Tucker.

He clicked through recordings of Craig’s concerts and was completely enamoured. He didn’t realise how long he was watching through videos of him until his mom called him down for food. His dad had long stopped banging on his door, which was why he was watching in the first place. It was odd, he didn’t even like classical music. He didn’t understand why he kept listening.

After he ate, he went back onto YouTube and carried on watching performances when he saw a interview pop into his recommended. He didn’t know what he was expecting him to sound like, but he didn’t expect him to have a nasally voice tinged with a bored tone. He clearly did not want to be interviewed, he kept fidgeting in his seat which Stan found hilarious. It was such a contrast from the confident boy preforming in all the videos he watched. Once the video was over, he glanced back at his guitar before picking it up and playing it. Something inside of him was inspired.

After a few months, Stan decided he wanted to start a band. The first thing he would need for that were members. He managed to get a group of ragtag teenage companions to be in his band. His super best friend Kyle was first, he reluctantly joined since he couldn’t handle the constant begging coming from Stan. Kyle was subjected to many forced guitar lessons by his best friend. He picked it up even quicker than Stan did. Kenny, who agreed before he could even finish his sentence. He already knew how to play the drums since it turned out it was a great way to relieve tension and frustrations. The last member was Token, who took a bit of convincing but eventually came around. He had private lessons, so he already knew how to play the bass.

They started out with have band practice in Token’s basement. It was a nice big space with great acoustics and he was rich, that meant his parents could buy them the equipment they needed. They started off with covers of popular music, but after a year or so, they began composing music together. Stan was the wordsmith, he wrote most of the lyrics. Kyle and him worked on the melodies. It was hard to make time for the band with all of them still being in high school and other responsibilities, but they made it work. During this time period, they started out at high school house parties and half empty VA halls. That’s where they came up with the name Nymph’s Heart. Eventually they were lucky enough to gain enough traction to play at local music venues. When the time came to pick whether they were going to college or work on their music, they decided as a group to see this through, see what this band could.

After seven years since they started the band, they were in a comfortable spot. Playing bigger venues in bigger cities. Sometimes they would even open for popular indie bands like Kevin Devine and the Front Bottoms. While they weren’t making much money, they had enough to rent a decent sized practise space. They also rented a place all together, a converted warehouse space on the edge of South Park.

Stan had music blasting out of his speakers as he worked on lyrics for a new song for their next album. Kyle came in and turned the music down. “You keep saying that you don’t like classical music but that’s all you play in the house. Is your celebrity man crush really _that_ bad?” Kyle joked as he sat on the bed and peeked at what Stan was working on, only to find that Stan was doodling a certain viola player’s name on it. “You’re more like a teenage girl than a twenty two year old man.”

“Piss off.” Stan grumbled as he flipped to the page that actually contained the lyrics he was working on. He groaned when Kyle still hadn’t moved.

“Can’t, I need to look over the plans that Token and I worked on” Kyle announced as he shoved some papers into his hands. He flicked through makeshift posters that the pair had been working on for the past month. “We’re thinking about adding a temporary fifth member for the album. It’s to get our band some attention. These are just the mock ups, Karen already finished posters and advertisement graphics. We just need the big okay from you, since you’re the lead.”

“Ugh fine.” He said without putting much thought into it. This seemed like the sort of shit Cartman should be working on. He was their manager after all. Though he seemed more interested in making money than doing actual work.

“Great, consider it sorted. You’ll be seeing our ads all over social media by next week. We need to update our instagram and our bandcamp page with this.” Kyle said smugly before leaving.

It was only until after Kyle left the room that he really processed what he just agreed to. It’s always just been the four of them, what would a fifth member mean? They’ve spent the last seven years together, they all abandoned collage just to keep the band alive. He turned his music back on and carried on working on his lyrics, trying to ignore the problem all together.

Kyle wasn’t lying when he said adverts would be everywhere. While he was walking to the studio, he could see the posters and when he checked their social media, it was all over there too. Token has too much money, he concluded. The ad was probably all over their fan base. He hoped too many people wouldn’t turn up to audition, he was still iffy about the idea even after a week of thinking about it. He knew the band needed this, they had become stagnant in the last year. He wanted to start experimenting with sound, layering different sorts of instruments and harmonies.

That day’s band practice went well, they managed to try out a new song that Kenny had been working on, it was dedicated to his sister. They were about to call it a wrap until the studio phone rang. Strange since it was normally Cartman answered their phone calls from his house, that was his one and only job in the band currently. Since Stan was the closest to it, he answered it. “This is Stan Marsh of Nymph Hearts.”

“Hi, I’m calling about the audition for your fifth member.” Came a deep voice from the other side. He sounded like he was either in his forties or fifties. He had no idea why an old man would want to audition to a band of a bunch of twenty year olds.

“Sorry sir but all of the information is on the website.” Stan turned to the other who all shrugged back. He was wondering how this man had even gotten their number, it wasn’t publicly available., Cartman must have directed this guy to them to mess with them. “It explains things better than I could.”

“Oh, I’ve read it but I can’t let my client go through that. I’m the manager of the renown viola player Craig Tucker.” Stan choked on his spit when heard that. The other three looked at him with alarm. Kyle took this as a cue to save his friend and snatched the phone out of Stan’s hand. Stan immediately bend over and spilled his guts. Kenny and Token rushed to his side, extremely confused.

Kyle replied to whoever was on the phone. “Thanks Thomas, we look forward to working with him when he arrives in Colorado.” He hung up the phone and looked down at his friend. “Dude. That was Craig’s dad. Craig is going to be here next week.”

“Isn’t he in Germany right now? How’d he even find out, like he follows our band. No outside of Colorado knows who we are.” Kenny added as he slowly patted Stan’s back. Stan felt like he was dying.

“I have no idea, but he found out and I guess he’s our fifth member now.” Kyle said as he returned the phone to the charger. Stan vomited once more, he was waiting for the moment he’d wake up but the acid burning down throat said otherwise.

“That’s rank man, you better not puke on him when he’s actually here” Kyle grimaced at the mess he made.

“Ten bucks he pukes on the guy in the first ten minutes.” Kenny bets.

“Double if he pukes in the first five minutes.” Token adds. They’re always like this, why are we even friends? Stan wonders. He groans before collapsing on the ground, avoiding the puddle of bile he created.

A week went by far too quickly for Stan’s liking. He was sitting on his seat with his guitar in hand, shaking his leg in anticipation. Craig was arriving today, and he was already four hours late. The wait was killing him. He kept staring at the tester song he wrote which would incorporate Craig’s viola. Layering the guitar and bass with the viola rounding out the bottom. It was ambitious, more ambitious than anything he had ever written. But he was itchy with wanting to trying something new. Sub Pop, bless their hearts, ok’ed this, even with having to pay someone like Craig Tucker. He didn’t even want to ask what his guest rate was.

The studio door bell rang and Stan immediately left like he was going to lose his lunch. He could hear Kyle leave and open the door. Stan’s grip on his guitar tightened, he felt like his heart was going to burst.

“I’m leaving my son in your care.” He heard a familiar deep voice. “If I find a single scratch on him. You’ll be hearing from my lawyers.”

“Dad, get out!” He heard a nasally say light heartedly.

“If you ever need something, remember to call Tweek.” Craig’s dad says sternly.

“Get the fuck out. I get it. I’ll call Tweek. He’s coming in an hour, so you don’t need to worry.” With that the door slams shut.

“Hey Token, want to triple that?” Kenny snickered behind him.

“Quadruple if he pukes in two minutes.” Token snorted back.

They had zero hope in him and he was going to prove them wrong. Craig was going to walk into view and he was going to be cool. He might even impress the other enough to ask him out for a date. He could hear the violaist speaking from the other room. “It’s warm in here, do you mind if I unzip my jacket?” He was asking Kyle.

“Sure. The guys are in the practice room by the way. Do you want me to hold your viola?” He heard Kyle say before he stepped into view. He looked at him threateningly, a look that said ‘ _You better not fucking puke on him’._ Stan thought he was mentally prepared until the violaist walked into the room. Stan had been watching interview after interview till the point where he knew some word for word. He had watched performances to the point that they had been burned into his brain. Nothing could have prepared him for the real thing.

Craig Tucker walked in wearing his typical blue jacket, but he also had the zipper open that revealed an altered Lunar Vacation concert t shirt that looked like a crop top, a pair of black skinny high waisted jeans and a worn out pair of black low top Vans. That’s more skin than he’s ever seen on the other, even after countless videos.

Kenny leaned over and pushed his mouth shut, “You’ll catch flies if you leave your mouth open like that, lover boy.” Kenny turned to Token. “You might as well give me the money now.”

“Hey guys, Craig has flown all the way from Holland. Play nice, he’s probably extremely jet lagged.” Kyle said sternly, mostly looking at Stan and Kenny.

“I’ll be fine. I slept on the plane.” Craig said with his nasally voice as the two walked over to the group. Stan could feel his heart pounding in his chest with every step the other took, there was something about hearing his voice in real life that made his brain melt. He could hardly register the fact that the boy he’s had a crush on was standing right in front of him with his hand stretched out.

He shook Craig’s hand, probably too eagerly. He had soft hands with the tips of his fingers being calloused from playing the viola. Kyle coughed loudly informing Stan that he was shaking for too long. “Stan Marsh.” He introduced himself sheepishly before releasing his hand.

Craig let out a quick chuckle. He wouldn’t mind going deaf if that meant hearing that again. “I know. I’m a fan of your band.” Stan could feel bile threatening to let loose. Kyle came to the rescue and called Craig over so they could talk about the band practice schedule. 

“Hey cutie. You’re a fan of us, huh? How’d someone like you find out about a little band like ours?” Kenny said as he seated himself next to Craig.

“A friend told me about the band, they live here in South Park.” Craig replied as he neatly placed the schedule in a file and returned it to his bag. “Umm. Maybe I should have said that earlier. I… Don’t do well with phone calls.” Craig’s face flushed from embarrassment. “My dad takes care of all that sort of thing for me.” He looked down at his hands.

“It’s alright.” Kenny cooed, making eye contact with Stan’s knowingly. Stan glared back. Kyle and Token simply rolled their eyes at the two.

“Alright, let’s practice the new song.” Kyle announced, he couldn’t handle much more stupidity. He snatched one of the music sheets from Stan’s stand and handed it to Craig. “We’ll play the song while you learn your part so you can get a feel of it.” Craig nodded in response as Kyle took his position beside Stan. Kyle pulled back his curly red hair into a ponytail, though with his curls it looked more like a bun before picking up his guitar.

The song was still in its early stages, so it still didn’t have lyrics, just a sweet, sort of lilting melody. Craig followed the song with his copy of the music, making notes as he went along. Stan’s eyes would flicker between his sheet and Craig, he seemed completely different as he scanned through the notes. The distraction was enough to cause him to mess up a few notes, Kyle would glance over each time and roll his eyes.

“What do you think?” Kyle asked once they finished the first attempt.

Craig hummed a bit of the melody. “Oh… It was good. I mean, it was great.” He corrected himself at the end, laughing nervously. “I have it memorised if you want to try playing.” He added.

“Please do.” Stan slipped out and Kyle looked at him disapprovingly. “We would appreciate it.”

Craig took his viola out with practiced ease and settled into the spot besides Stan. He carefully placed the sheet in the stand before getting into position and ran resin across his bow strings. Stan found himself staring until the snap of Kenny’s drumsticks brought him back to reality. Stan tried his best not to make a mistake as his eyes scanned through the song. Craig didn’t come in until the fourth line.

When it came time for Craig to play his part Stan stopped instantly. Craig played incredibly well in the albums he had and the performances he saw on tv but this was something else. The melody echoed through the building. Stan was enthralled by the way Craig’s vast blue eyes fluttered between the sheet before him and his hands. Stan was now seeing why Craig has so many awards. The other three stopped playing soon after to stare and listen in awe. Craig stopped at the nearest rest and looked up at the band. “Why did everyone stop? Did I play badly?” He looked nervous. He had played with orchestras before, but never in a band.

“Quite the opposite, you play extremely well. Your recordings don’t do you justice.” Token explained for them.

“I played to a good song, it’s nothing really.” Craig stared back at his instrument, not wanting to look at the others.

“He’s a real catch? Huh, Stan?” Kenny teased Stan quietly. Stan glanced back at Craig who was too busy rereading his music sheet to hear. If they didn’t start up again, Kenny was going to get noisier.

“Let’s play again but with no interruptions this time.” Stan called. He would hear Kenny snickering behind him, he was going to tell the blonde off but he was already tapping his drumsticks together.

As they played, Stan made adjustments to everybody’s sheets as they went along. As they kept playing his nerves began to settle, Craig wasn’t some sort of godlike person. He was just like another member of the band, maybe a bit more nervous than he expected though, he was seemed confident and uncaring during his interviews. He just seemed like a kid right now. Just a kid he could have gone to school with who happened to play the viola incredibly well.

They spent an hour getting into the swing of things. The song was really starting to take shape and Craig would occasionally add his own notes. Even though Craig played classical music he seemed to really understand their style, he really was a fan. Everything was going well until there was a knock on the door.

Kyle put his guitar down to answer because of course he would. Stan was expecting to hear either Cartmen or Clyde but the voice was unfamiliar. “Hey, can I come in? I’m here to see Craig.” That voice was definitely not Cartman or Clyde. He noticed Craig perk up and strangely so did Kenny.

“Sorry, I don’t know who you’re talking about. Please leave.” He heard Kyle say. Right, only the band members and Craig’s dad knew he was even there.

“Let him in! He’s a friend of mine.” Craig shouted out. After a minute of the two scuffling around, they came into view. Kyle was followed by a messy blonde some of which was tied into a messy ponytail that rested on his shoulder, with a medium build, he wore a thin greenish grey shirt, a leather jacket, dark grey jeans and had more piercings on him than Kenny McCormick.

Craig placed his viola down and got up. “Tweek!” He cheered before running over to the blonde and jumping into his arms for a tight embrace. “I missed you so much.” Craig’s arms were wrapped around the back of Tweek’s neck, pulling himself closer. It was intimate in a way Stan didn’t really expect.

“I missed you too, Kitten.” Tweek returned the hug. _Were they a couple?_   Stan wondered. Craig’s previous shyness was completely gone as he eagerly chatted to the other.

“Ohhhh D-D-Drama.” Kenny said mischievously but quietly enough so the pair couldn’t hear them. “Man, if they aren’t already dating you have quite the competition. Tweek is quite a guy and he’s gay. Also, a little birdie told me he’s great in bed.”

“You know him?” Stan hissed back.

“Yeah. He works at that really nice coffee place, my sister always goes there so I see him from time to time.” Kenny peek up at the two. “They seem to have great chemistry. You gonna go goth on us again, Raven?”

“I’m twenty two now, I’m not going to fucking go goth.” Stan went quiet when Tweek and Craig came over. Craig was all smiles now and that made Stan’s chest ache.

“This is Tweek, He’s the friend that introduced me to the band. He’s been sending me recordings of all of your performances.” Craig explained cheerfully. Stan didn’t know if he should feel thankful. He was stuck between grateful and being green with jealousy.

“Oh, that’s why you kept asking where we were performing next.” Kenny piped from behind as leaned against Stan’s shoulder. “And here I thought you had a crush on one of us fine men.” Stan looked between the two, he was aware that Kenny would occasionally go to Tweek Bros, but he didn’t know they were friends.

“You wish.” Tweek chuckled before kissing the top of Craig’s hat. “I’m going again, your dad wanted me to check up on you and get your bags to my house since he’s not staying at your grams. You guys want anything?” Gesturing to everyone in the room.

“Sweet tea.” Craig ordered. Stan kept a mental note of that, he wasn’t going to forget.

“Coffee. Blacker than Stan’s emo heart.” Kenny added, much to Stan’s embarrassment. Craig didn’t seem to care though. He seemed to pay no attention to their banter.

“Don’t you think I make enough coffee? I'll never have time off if you and Karen keep ordering me to make coffee during my down time.” Tweek retorted light heartedly before leaving the room. Stan could make out the sound of Tweek picking up Craig luggage, he wasn’t even aware of Craig bringing in luggage to begin with.

“Let’s stop for a snack break. You must be hungry after your long flight.” Kyle addressed to Craig who meekly nodded his head. Kyle came back with an assortment of snacks, all gluten free because Randy would complain constantly since he still insists on trying to get with the times, every time he visits.

“Beer break!” Kenny came back with an armful of cold beers, all gluten free. Stan didn’t even care that it was too early to be drinking, he was going to need all the help he could get and hopefully not puke on the boy he’s been masturbating to for the last seven years. He more than welcomingly accepted the beer. Token accepted without question and Kyle declined because he says someone needed to drag their sorry asses home.

Craig declined the offer, “I’m not supposed to drink or rather, I don’t drink.” That surprised him, he always saw the other as extremely mature, drinking the finest wines with the world’s best musicians.

“Alright cutie.” Kenny said before lazily opening his can and dumping himself back into his seat behind his drums. Craig picked up some chocolates and sat besides him, he sent a text to who he assumed was Tweek before munching on his selected snack. He wasn’t an elegant eater, he had melted chocolate all over his lips. He wasn’t as perfect as he thought he’d be and that might have made him fall in love even more. He wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss those soft lips.

“I’m a big fan of yours.” Stan lamely spat out loudly. God, did he want to crawl into a hole and die. Craig looked startled at the sudden outburst at the first, his expression softened with a gentle smile after.

Craig laughed awkwardly and sweetly, “I didn’t think you guys even knew about me before my dad called.” Kenny spat out his drink all over his drums, clearly he was eavesdropping on them. He started choking on his drink and once he got beer out of his lungs he fell over laughing. “Is he alright? He looks like he’s dying.” Craig looked over at Kenny with concern.

“Excuse him. Stan is just, a really huge fan.” Kyle said as he dropped a towel on Kenny’s head before stepping away from the spit covered drums.

“I’m actually a big fan of your band too.” Craig pointed out and Stan’s chest swelled with pride. Especially considering that it was Craig who inspired him to start in the first place, to do something with his life. Craig was eager to find out more about Stan. “So, I’m guessing you like classical music?"

“No, just you.” That went a lot smoother in head. Kenny, who had just recovered started crying in laughter again. “I’m not really into classical music but I like listening to your music. It’s motivating, it’s the reason I started playing.”

“Oh.” Is all Craig could say in reply, he didn’t really know how to respond to that. “Where’d you first find me?” he asked curiously.

“I saw your show in Carnagie hall when you were fifteen on the PBS channel.” Craig’s eyes lit up when he heard that and his smile widened. Stan felt his heart flutter at the sight.

“I only preformed there once while I was fifteen, so I remember exactly what show you’re talking about.” He crossed his arms, looking proud before dropping the expression and looking away awkwardly, almost ashamed.

“And you?”

Craig looked back at Stan. Much to his relief. “A recording of you guys preforming at someone’s house. I think her name was something like Bebe.” It was his time to be shocked.

“Dude, that was our first show.” He was surprised Craig liked them so much from that performance. It was their first time playing in front of people, they were all nervous. Kyle was still new to playing the guitar, the equipment wasn’t the best at the time.

The two of them talked on and on while the other three were eating as they listened to their conversation. While he didn’t share Craig’s vast love for classical music, they both liked indie music. Craig turned out to be a very down to earth guy, he fumbled with his words occasionally and never took compliments but was more than willing to give them out. His band mates were practically glaring at him, mainly Kyle.

After an hour or so, Tweek eventually came back with the drinks to find Kenny passed out drunk. “Fucking prick. Well, I’m not fucking drinking this.” He walked over to Craig and gave him his tea. Stan noticed that Craig’s tea was hot. He liked his tea hot and sweet, with only a splash of oat milk.

There was a silence that encased the room as Craig slowly sipped at his tea. Stan wasn’t sure if those two noticed, but Token and Kyle certainly did. Tweek started humming to himself and a few beats later Craig joined in too. It wasn’t any song Stan had ever heard. It wasn’t one of the indie songs that Craig said he liked nor was it one of the classical songs that Stan has heard him play during his performances or his albums.

“What song is that?” Stan wondered out loud.

Craig smacked Tweek’s arm. “It’s a song for my next album. He’s not meant to be humming it. He knows I’ll hum back without thinking. What a dick.” He looked at Tweek fondly. They were clearly people who shared some history.

“Alright, alright. Stop being hissy.” Tweek snorted before standing up to retreat, he turned around stuck a pierced tongue out at Craig. Stan was starting to wonder how many he had. He didn’t want to find out.

“Should we go back to playing?” Stan announced to everyone in the room.

Kyle looked down at the passed out blonde on the ground, “I don’t think we can without Kenny. I blame you for making him drink with all of your melodrama.” When Kyle poked Kenny with his foot the only response he got was a low groan. “We need to take him home.”

“I’ll take him home. I’m used to it, his sister will sometimes ask me for help when he’s like this.” Tweek walked over to Kenny and attempted to wake him up.

Craig made his way to Stan as he was packing up his viola. He started making conversation Stan, “I just want to let you how thankful I am-” Stan stopped focusing as Craig was slowly slipping off his jacket. It was warm in the room, five men in a reasonably small room had made it hotter. Craig was exposing the rest of his stomach, his skin looked smooth like it’d be velvet fabric against his finger.

He pulled his sleeves, showing off his skinny pale arms. Once the jacket was off Craig wrapped it around his waist still talking to him, but Stan was hearing none of it. His mind was fully dedicated to admiring every inch of the other’s exposed body. His nipples visible against the thin fabric of the modified Lunar Vacation shirt. Without realising he was started to get hard, right in front of everyone, right in front of the boy he’s fantasied about fucking for years. He was starting to feel like he was burning from the inside out, the world was starting to spin.

Then he felt Craig’s hand touch his shoulder, he was probably asking if he was all right. Everything just made his mind buzz more. Everyone sounded like they were under water. There was a deep feeling in the pit of his stomach, the room seemed so much smaller than it already was. Before his mind could even register what was happening, he done it, he puked on Craig. It hit his shirt and dripped down his skinny jeans, pooling in his shoes.

He regretted drinking so much while Craig was talking to him earlier, he regretted eating a big breakfast this morning. Pancakes were so much better going down than up. He was regretting a lot of things in that moment.

Craig didn’t scream or shout. At first he looked shocked but then he looked confused. He just took a deep breath, he must have looked pathetic because Craig was the one to speak first. “It’s alright, this happens often with fans. I’m going to the kitchen.” He pulled his t shirt away from his frame as he went to clean up.

Stan watched Craig leave the room, too stunned to move. Tweek came over and gave him a pat on the shoulder, the reassuring kind but it didn’t help at all. “Don’t worry about it, lots of fans puke on him when they first meet. Though, normally they’re teenage girls. Wait no, that makes me sound like a dick. Just, don’t worry. He won’t despise you for this, probably.” With that Tweek left to help Craig in the kitchen.

“Dude, you had one job.” Kyle walked over to him with a mop and started cleaning up. He didn’t say anything after, too tired to deal with Stan being unable to keep it in his pants.

“Too bad Kenny wasn’t awake to see it. Don’t worry though, I have it recorded.” Token gestured towards their security cameras.

Tweek and Craig returned, Craig was wearing a plain white t shirt Tweek had previously been wearing under his button down. The blonde went over to Kenny and slanged him over his shoulder and grabbed Craig’s Viola with his free hand. “We’re going to leave for today since Craig needs to shower but I’ll take Kenny to his brother’s house for you.”

Tweek was strong, he looked cool with all his piercings, he made sure to help Craig with simple things like getting him a drink and carrying his viola, he was confident, he easily lifted Craig’s mood, he was kinda hot. How was he even meant to beat that?  How did Stan Marsh measure up to the ghost of Craig’s past, present and probably future.

“Bye guys, I’ll bring Craig over tomorrow.” Tweek said his farewell while Craig remained silent. Stan stopped looking at them, he knew they left when he heard the door click shut.

“Let’s pack up an then I’ll drive us all home. It’s been a long day.” Kyle said once Tweek had left. So, the boys packed, got into Kyle’s car and went home. Stan went straight to his room before anyone could say anything to him. He put on Manchester Orchestra, laid on his bed and cried. He had always been emotional, that’s who he was. But he had never felt like this. He seriously felt like someone punched him in the heart.

He woke up to the sun shining in his eyes and his face crusty from crying. For a moment he didn’t remember what he’d been crying about until it hit him, he got hard and puked on Craig. He dragged himself out of bed before heading to the bathroom. He showered longer than he normally did, It wasn’t until Kyle knocked on the door that he thought to come out.

He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Don’t even think about touching the rosé wine.” Kyle shouted from his room. Stan shifted his hand from the bottle of wine to the carton of milk and made himself a sad bowl of cereal. Kyle came in after he finished his shower. “Dude, get over it. It’s not like he’ll hate you. He has a boyfriend, you can’t fuck him anyhow. Just let it go he’s not a play thing, he’s our guest for our next album.”

“I don’t just want to just fuck him. Though, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t really want to. He’s just so perfect, even better than I imagined. I thought he’s be godly but he’s nice and cute. He’s smart and hot.” Stan declared as he emotionally stuffed his face with cereal.

“Looks like he’s got a case of love sickness, with no cure.” Token came into the room and put some bread into the toaster.

“Look Stan. I know you like him, but we need to keep things professional. Please take my advice, as your super best friend.” Kyle sighed and Stan nodded solemnly in response. Kyle pulled some vegetable out of the fridge and started a stir fry. They ate breakfast together, Kyle sharing his with the other two. He always made sure everyone ate healthily.

Once they all finished, they agreed to get to the studio to set up early. Stan needed time to get mentally prepared before their violaist arrived. Setting up didn’t take long so he sat on his chair and stared at the ground.

There was a knock on the door, Kyle went to answer it like he always did. Stan felt his heart rate pick up when he heard footsteps approaching the music room. Kyle walked into the room first, but instead of a beautiful violaist walking in, it was Kenny. He groaned before flopping back into his seat.

“Sorry, I’m not your five foot nine crush.” Kenny laughed mischievously before grabbing a bag of banana chips and taking a seat at his drum set.

He was started to get annoyed by the way everyone was talking to him lately, “Why do you guys keep making a big deal out of this? Just because I think he has a perfect body, he plays better than all of us combined, he has a nice voice, the way his big bright eyes are amazing, he-”

“He gives you wet dreams.” Kenny snorted loudly, Stan’s face went bright red.

Embarrassment made him retaliate, “So what if he gives me wet dreams, I bet-”

“Who gives you wet dreams?” A voice came from came from behind them. Stan felt blood drain from his face when he turned around and saw Tweek and Craig standing there. He didn’t expect them to come in through the back way, nobody usually came in from that way.

“Just some guy he likes to look up on the internet and jack off to.” Kenny said impishly, he even had the nerve to wink at him.

“That’s perfectly normal Stan, you don’t need to be embarrassed.” Tweek attempt to reassure which just made Stan want to die more. Tweek seemed awkward about the whole thing while Craig’s face stayed flat the entire time. “Alright, can someone point me to the restroom?”

Kyle left to show Tweek where the restroom was while Craig made his way to Stan. His outfit was different this time, covered head to tie in clothes, he was wearing a light blue baggy turtleneck sweater, Jeans, big fluffy uggs and his trademark hat.

“Are you alright?” Craig asked softly. Stan didn’t understand why he was asking. Then he remembered, he puked on him. He was probably making sure he was alright.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry about yesterday.” Stan apologized.

Craig chuckled softly, “It’s alright. It’s like Tweek said, it happens all of the time. But if you puke on me again. I’ll kick your balls.” Craig face shifted to a more serious expression at the end. Stan shivered at the tone, Craig must have noticed since he soften his expression again. “Dude. I was umm. Just kidding.” Craig Tucker was awkward. He realised that, he was as awkward as him, it was endearing.

“I didn’t want you to hate me or something.” Stan grimaced at how pathetic he sounded. He squeezed the bridge of his nose, he never grew out of that.

Craig pulled at his sleeve subconsciously, completely unaware of it but Stan noticed every movement he made. “I won’t hate you over something so small. It’s fine really, just try not to do it again or face another direction.” He gave him a little closed mouth smile, with the edges of his lips quirked up.

“Promise.” Stan chuckled.

“Don’t make promises you don’t think you can keep.” Craig teased in a light tone. He nudged him with his bony shoulder.

Unknown to the two of them, the three other band members were talking amongst each other with different reactions to what they were eavesdropping on. They couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Kyle let out a huff of utter disappointment.  “It’s like he doesn’t hear a thing that comes out of my mouth. I tell him to leave the poor guy alone and the first thing he does is this. This is not professional.” He rattled off.

“He’s been so focused on the band, he hasn’t been laid for ages so maybe Craig is the guy to help him with his sex drought.” Kenny pitched in.

“He can’t though. Craig is already dating someone, Tweek. Remember?” Token argued.

“Exactly, which is why we can’t let Stan get into Craig’s pants.” Kyle hissed. Kyle had many wonderful qualities, one being his strong moral compass. You don’t sleep with someone’s boyfriend, that was just bullshit.

“I disagree. Craig needs to get laid.” A forth voice suddenly entered from behind them, they screamed and turned to the voice. Kyle nearly had a heart attack. It was the wild pierced blonde, Tweek.

“Aren’t you his boyfriend?” Kenny asked curiously, the only one brave enough.

“Boyfriend? No. We’re just friends, always have been. Craig has been single for a while. It’s about time he gets laid.” Tweek blinked for a moment. “Honestly, I don’t see how you lot could think we were dating. Craig is like a brother to me.”

“So what you’re saying is, Stan is free to fuck Craig.” Kenny cheered playfully before turning to Token. “New bet, I bet Stan will have sex with Craig before the end of the first date.”

“Craig looks too reserved. I don’t think he’ll have sex until at least the second date. I’m putting two hundred dollars into the betting pot.” Token said, sure of himself.

“I have zero faith in Stan and he always wakes me up when he’s loudly masturbating in the next room over. We all know who he was looking at when he does it. Add me to the will fuck before the end of first date list.” Kyle exhaled.

“I don’t know much about Stan, but I just want Craig to let loose so add me to the list too.” Tweek insisted.

“Great! Let’s try to set them up so we can get that money quicker.” Kenny enthusiastically whispered.

“Hey! That’s cheating.” Token growled back quietly.

“You didn’t set any rules. Too bad, so sad.” Kenny gave him the raspberry. “Okay boys, here’s the plan. I’m going to-”

Stan and Craig were talking about their pets. Craig owned a pair of guinea pigs, one named Stripe the Sixth and one named Stripe the Seventh. Stan found it cute how Craig absolutely loved his guinea pigs, they lived in Tweek’s house while he was on the road. Stan talked about his old dog Sparky and he loved animals as well. He had always loved them, even going as far to free a set of calves when they were going to be slaughtered for veal.

Stan was relieved when Craig told him that Tweek was best friend and never once mentioned they were boyfriends. He talked about Tweek as if they were siblings. Stan was having the time of his life until Kenny came over and told him to get something from the storage room. When he tried to ask the drummer why he couldn’t do it himself, Kenny shushed him. He begrudgingly got up and went to the storage room.

He couldn’t find the speakers that Kenny asked for and when he was about to leave Craig showed up at the door. “Kenny said you’d need help and sent me to help.” He walked into the room and looked around. “What are you looking for?” He peered around Stan.

“Speakers.” Stan stated simply. They both searched a high and low for them. The already dark room was getting darker, he turned around to see the door shut which plunged the pair into darkness. “What the fuck?”

“What happened?” Craig asked from the other side of the small storage room.

“I don’t know. Come over to me carefully, I don’t want you hurting yourself on something.” With that Craig scooched over until their hands touched. They sat besides each as they silently waited for someone to free them. Craig didn’t feel like shouting, he always preferred to stay quiet if he could. While Stan had to protect his sense of pride, he didn’t want to yell for help.

Despite the darkness he was keenly aware that Craig was sitting besides him, they weren’t touching but he could feel the heat radiating from the other. The darkness of the room made him feel braver, but his heart told him that it wasn’t the right time yet. They were in a shitty situation, not the best time to reveal his undying love.

“How long do you think it’ll take for them to notice we’re gone?” Craig wondered out loud.

“I’m not sure but knowing Kenny, he probably forgot about sending us here. We can talk until they remember.” Stan joked softly. They talked and talked with nothing else to do. They talked about simple things like Craig’s favourite food being fresh warm bread, with French butter and strawberry jam, how he loved feeding his two Stripes treats or how Tweek cried the first time he got his piercing, but he started crying before the needle went into his ear.

Blinding light beamed into the room, they two ducked their faces under their arms to protect them from their dark adjusted eyes. Something rushed into the room and barged at Craig, “Are you alright Craig?” Tweek asked worryingly, as if Craig was somehow dying from being left on a dark room. Stan decided not to mention that Tweek completely ignored him as he rushed to Craig’s side.

“I’m fine, Stan kept me company.” Craig responded reassuringly with a comforting tone. He pulled Tweek in for a tight hug and patted his head.

“I wish I let you out sooner.” Tweek muttered against his shoulder. Once Tweek had calmed down he got up and looked just like his normal self. “Kyle made us lunch, Kitten.” Tweek said with his voice also back to its regular confident way and Stan still found the nickname strange.

“What did he make?” Craig asked for the both of them, Stan still wasn’t sure how he felt about the blonde.

“Spaghetti with marinara sauce.”

“Sounds good. Being trapped in a closet makes you hungry.” Craig chuckled as Tweek helped him up. Craig then offered a hand to Stan who happily accepted, Craig’s hands were incredibly soft still. He had surprising amount strength behind his skinny limbs.

When they walked into the kitchen Stan instantly noticed Kenny looked chirpier than normal, which he shouldn’t be considering it was Kenny’s fault they somehow got locked in to begin with. “Oh, I totally forgot that I sent the both of you into the storage.” He cooed before draping himself over Craig. Tweek pushed off but not before he thoroughly checked the other’s neck. Kenny groaned and returned to his spot next to Kyle, muttering something about someone being useless.

“Oh, we don’t have enough plates. Stan, be a good host and share with Craig.” Kenny ordered while holding five plates.

“We own more than five plates.” Stan pointed out, finding it weird how everyone seemed off today. At least Craig seemed to be normal.

Kenny glanced around absentmindedly, “They all went missing so you need to share, my dear friend.” He giggled as Kyle dumped spaghetti equally into the five plates.

“We have bowls, don’t we?” Stan asked, he looked through the cupboards to find that all of the tableware was missing. He was dumbfounded, he was sure they were there yesterday.

“Somehow they all went missing.” Token grumbled, now Token was acting weird and was Kyle acting like everything was normal, which it wasn’t.

Luckily, Craig either didn’t feel the need to say anything or didn’t notice. He instead walked to his bag and pulled out a ruler before making his way to one of the kitchen drawers and pulled out a pair of scissors. He then walked over to our plate of food, he found the center of the plate and cut through the food. “There, we both get an equal amount and we won’t accidently Lady and the Tramp while eating.” Truth be told, Stan wouldn’t mind that one bit, but he refrained from saying that out loud. That would make him feel so lame.

Stan heard Kenny curse under his breath, he didn’t understand what was going. He ate silently as he watched Craig and Tweek talk about what they’ll eat for dinner that evening. He noticed that Kenny and Kyle kept looking over at them, talking between each other and leaving him out.

To say they got nothing done was an understatement. Stan didn’t have the chance to even pick up his guitar, it was always one strange situation after the next and it always seemed to involve both him and Craig. The violaist didn’t seemed to mind, he was happy to spend time with everyone, even if he was slower to open up to the other band members. Tweek kept a close watch on him the entire time when he was talking to any of the other band members, though that didn’t stop Craig getting pulled into all of Kenny’s schemes.

The two were constantly put into uncomfortable situations, but Stan didn’t make any moves outside of wanting to be Craig’s friend like he promised Kyle. It was eventually time to go home. Stan volunteered to stay back and clear up so everyone could go home early. He needed time alone, it had been a hectic day. Everyone said their farewells leaving Stan in the now empty music room.

It took him about an hour to pack everything up, he found the tableware in the back of the building and returned them to their rightful place. He was about to grab his bag until he heard someone knocking on the door. Why would someone be knocking at eleven at night? He cautiously opened the door and immediately recognised the light blue turtleneck sweater.

“I forgot my tshirt.” Craig stated simply. Stan lead Craig back into the music room and there it was, on the piano was a white and red Nasa t shirt. Craig folded it neatly and placed It in his bag.

“Want me to walk you home? It’s on my way back” Stan asked hopefully.

“I’d like that.” Craig replied sweetly. Stan locked up before walking side by side with Craig down to the main road.

He noticed the street were practically empty at this time. It was a school night and it was too early for party goers to really start heading home in droves and it was small town. He also noticed a lack of Tweek. “Why are you walking around by yourself, didn’t you go home with Tweek?” He asked casually.

Craig watched his shoes crunch through freshly fallen snow, it must have stopped snowing not too long ago. “I walked out of the studio with him but I told him I wanted to go on a walk by myself. He didn’t like it at first but he respected my decision. After I walked around for a while, I remembered I left my t shirt back at your place.” Craig hummed to himself for a moment. “Do you mind if I hold your hand?” He peeked over at Stan out of the corner of his eyes.

“No but why?” Before he heard any response, he took Craig’s hand into his own gently, it was freezing cold. “Oh, you’re freezing.”

“Yeah, a bit but it’s mostly just my fingers.” Craig chuckled lightly, the kind that made his eyes brighten even in the dim fluorescent lights of the street lamps above. The kind that gave Stan goose bumps every time he heard them.

They walked in silence, it wasn’t weird or awkward. It was a nice change of pace from his constant world of noise and mess. It made everything seem a whole lot simpler, it didn’t need to complex. Nothing between them needed to be. When they reached Tweek’s house Craig let go of his hand, he was holding it so long it felt strange not have that warmth anymore. He instantly missed it.   

“Thanks for walking me home and thanks for everything else.” Craig’s smile was so pure and genuine, it couldn’t be anything less than fact. He turned to head to the house but was stopped when Stan grabbed his wrist, he didn’t mean to but in the heat of the moment his heart moved before his brain could catch up. “Is there something wrong?”

“Do you want to like, go out somewhere? But like, outside of band practice, just the two of us.” Stan felt his face burn up despite the cold winter air brushing against it. Craig didn’t respond for a moment, Stan didn’t know what that meant, it scared him.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Craig asked softly, those big blue eyes were all on him now.

“I am.” Stan replied, now completely sure of himself.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Craig smiled joyfully, Stan’s heart warmed at the sight. He knew he made the right choice, there was no questioning it now.

“Let’s go somewhere this weekend since we aren’t really expected to actually practice those days. We can plan something out during the week.” He finished rather lamely, he never planned to asked Craig out. He wanted to make sure he  picked a good location for their first date, Craig meant a lot to him.

“That’s a plan.” Craig ended his last words with a saccharine kiss on the cheek. Craig’s own cheeks were blooming with a light shade of red. He carefully turned back towards the house. “Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He watched as Craig made his way to the door and unlocked. He turned back one final time with a small curt wave before shutting the door. He was in shock and all he could think about were those soft lips on his cheek.

He knew he wasn’t going to be able to sleep that night, his roommates would ask what he did all night and he’d ignore them. He’d go straight to his bed and replay this moment over and over in his head for this was the happiest moment of his life.

 

 


	2. The Viola Prodigy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The music started and his hands knew what to do. They were playing on their own and he felt the love of the music take over. The way it made him feel, the way he could play with his eyes closed for a moment. When it was over and he heard the thunder of the applause and he saw the audience and the lights, it was this crystalizing moment. He wanted to do this forever.

Craig Tucker picked up his first viola at the age of three. Something about the children’s orchestra record his grandmother would play for him spoke to him. She took him down to the music shop and let him pick out any instrument he wanted. The moment the bow touched the strings, he just knew. He just knew this was exactly what he wanted. There was magic in the way that viola felt in his hands. It lit this spark in him that he never would even imagine he had. 

He started competing by the age of five and won his first blue ribbon in a children’s music competition. By nine he was traveling for competitions all over the country. That was the year his parents pulled him out of regular school and got him a private tutor. They had also moved to Denver so he could be closer to his music program. He remembered pulling up in front of their blue Washingtonian and this was their home. Nothing would be the same after this.

“He’s something special, pure talent.” His viola teacher told them. “He’s going to need more, he could go far if he can focus on music.” Thomas and Laura Tucker looked so proud. Their son was going to do great things, perform in great symphony orchestras. They decided they needed to be there for him, cultivate his immense talent. Thomas quit his job and took Craig to every audition, every competition. He acted as his manager, his caretaker. He took Craig everywhere he needed to go, made sure every subject was taken care of. He practised for hours a day, until his little fingers were sore. He did all his homework, sometimes going ahead in certain subjects. He wanted it, he wanted everything. He was going to do this, he was going to go far. He had never wanted anything like this. Part of him craved the attention his parents gave him, all that praise. He thrived on being the best.

At twelve he gave his first interview for NPR, their tiny desk music series. He was the twelve year old viola prodigy. He was the guest violaist for the Los Angeles philharmonic, one of the biggest moments in his career. He was so nervous as he stepped out on that stage for the first time. He felt his heart beating in his chest and he knew he was going to throw up. He could feel the bile rising in his throat. He was a fraud, they were going to find out sooner rather than later. He couldn’t do this and he almost bolted from his seat. 

But then the music started and his hands knew what to do. They were playing on their own and he felt the love of the music take over. The way it made him feel, the way he could play with his eyes closed for a moment. When it was over and he heard the thunder of the applause and he saw the audience and the lights, it was this crystalizing moment. He wanted to do this forever. He never wanted to do anything else. He had other interests, he liked science, he liked guinea pigs and he liked pop punk music. But he didn’t love anything like he loved this. This passion that flowed through his twelve year old veins and made the world seem so small and cozy. Everything was his viola in his small hands and the music on the stand in front of him. Nothing else mattered.

“You played so well sweetie.” The first chair viola hugged him gently. She was a tall, elegant woman with a pretty satin black dress. “I'm going to have some real competition someday.” She squeezed his slight shoulder and walked away. There was an adults only after party and he didn't mind. His dad told him he would take him out for cheese fries and milkshakes after his performance. He carefully packed away the viola that cost more than their house in Denver and looked for his dad backstage. When he saw him standing there, with a big bouquet of blue flowers, smiling so wide, he threw himself into his dad’s arms.

“No one is as talented as you little one.” He swung him around and took his viola case. “I'm always proud of you.” He hugged him so tightly. He sat across from his dad in an all night diner, the laughter of late night club kids and regulars tinkling through. He heard the lilting melodies of a 1960s girl group playing softly on a jukebox. He could always pick out music in the background, that was his real talent. He could always figure out the mood of a place by it’s music choice. He wanted to stay here forever drinking strawberry milkshakes and picking at cheese fries with his dad. 

Tweek Tweak lived next door to his grandmother and was his first collaborator. His grandmother was his second grade teacher and his piano teacher and sometimes they would play together. He had strong piano player hands even at ten and he played so beautifully. They would do the children’s music competitions in Denver together and he was his first and only real friend. He understood him in a way other kids didn't. He was awkward and used to be surrounded by adults. Kids were loud and they were confusing and they talked too much. Tweek was loud and confusing, he was very anxious, but not in the way Craig was. He was scared of so many things, but was the bravest person he knew at the same time. He was a conundrum and he liked him more than he liked most things.

“You don’t talk very much.” Tweek was sitting next to him in the backseat of his dad’s car, clutching the blue ribbon they won. He would put his in his trophy case and start working on the next piece.

“I don’t like to talk after competitions, this is my down time.” He looked over at Tweek with his giant blue eyes and he saw him grin back at him. Tweek reached over and took his small pale hand in his and squeezed. They were best friends, he knew how to get him to open up a little and sometimes, even have a little fun. They didn’t spend all their time practising, Craig did that on his own mostly anyways. They coloured and played with legos. He showed Tweek how to play with his guinea pig Stripe and they would spend hours just watching her. Tweek would sleep over when Craig visited his grandmother in South Park and he actually acted like a kid for the night. He treated these things like stolen moments, which they were. A moment where he wasn’t reading, practising or working out what he was going to say in interviews. This was just for him.

It all changed after the philharmonic. Suddenly there were offers and recordings. He recorded his first album of classical music at the age of thirteen and was nominated for a grammy at the age of fifteen years old. Life started moving very quickly and college dreams were drifting away. Maybe it wasn’t in the cards for him right now, he had to keep going. His parents had both given up their respective careers, taking time to take him on tours, one city to another. He was a guest with the London Symphony orchestra next month, he would be away from home for almost two months. He would miss Tweek and home and the familiarity of knowing his surroundings. He missed his sister who wasn’t ready to give up on school, she stayed behind with their grandmother. It would be months before he saw her again.

“You’ll do fine honey, you’re so talented.” His mother squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t be nervous.” They were so supportive, they did everything for him.

So why did he just want time to himself? He was fifteen and there were teenage growing pains. He had been traveling nonstop for the last two years. Working nonstop for the past two years. He spent most of his time traveling, practising, doing homework. There was so little time for himself, he felt selfish when he wanted things for himself. 

“Im really tired, I just finished three chapters worth of math homework and I have practise until ten.” He was telling Tweek over facetime. “I'm trying to finish high school early.” He curled up on the couch in the apartment they had rented for his family for their time in London. “It will be fine, I just need a moment.” He looked at Tweek through tired blue eyes and he saw concern all over his face. 

“You need a break kitten.” Tweek looked so grown up. It always surprised him when he saw him after so long. He wore his hair in a stubby little ponytail and he had a thin metal hoop in his left nostril. His eyes were a calm green and his brows were furrowed in concern. He had on a Free Palestine t shirt and an open flannel shirt. Tweek was smart and creative and loved animals and the Cure and was a good friend. He looked after him when he wouldn’t look after himself. 

“Im fine, I just wanted to check in with you, I miss you.” He pulled the sleeves of his baggy sweater over his hands and pulled his knobby knees up to his chest. Tweek smiled and he smiled and he wondered what he would be doing if he were home right now. Probably homework. Or practising the viola. Or preparing for an interview. He was trying not to frown when his dad came in.

“Pumpkin come on, we have to get to practise.” His dad had his viola case and his blue jacket in his hands. “Tell Tweek you’ll talk to him later.” He gave Tweek a little wave and gently took the ipad from Craig. 

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow Tweek.” He gave him a little smile, just the edges of his lips turned up. He had never loved anything like he loved music. That’s all he had ever wanted to do. He was just, he was being a brat. He was selfish and he was living his dream. He took his jacket from his dad and he went to practise with one of the best orchestras in the world. He played like a dream and he was living his dream. When he did his first performance with them, it all came rushing back. The love of this thing that was so much bigger than himself. This thing that made life worth living. It was here and it was amazing. The lights and the audience and his parents were so proud. He saw them after the performance and they were waiting with a bouquet of peach roses this time. Even though he was a teenager and he was gangly and moody and awkward, he always threw himself into his dad’s arms. He hugged them both with everything he had and it was beautiful. The music was beautiful and this was beautiful and he hoped it never ended.

He sneaked out for the first time at sixteen. It was quiet in South Park and cold and clear. He silently opened the window and climbed out with his telescope and off to Stark’s pond he went. He looked at the stars and it was beautiful. He could see every star and he had his earphones in, The Front Bottoms flowing through into his brain and his heart and he could always feel the music. This became his thing when he visited his grandmother. He would sneak out and go to Stark’s Pond and look at the stars. He still kept a star journal and he would sketch what he saw. This was his time, his moment to be still in this world. It took some of the pressure off and he knew next week when he was scheduled to be interviewed by Seth Myers and he was going to perform on a recording of Märchenbilder, Op. 113 by Schumman, as the featured violaist. He was going to audition to be on a movie score recording. But not tonight. Tonight this was all for him.

He was celebrating his sixteenth birthday in Paris when Tweek sent him a recording of a local band started by some kids at his high school. Nymph’s Heart was a nice mix of two part harmonies, layered guitar riffs and a steady back beat. They reminded him of Good Luck Varsity blended with a little bit of pop punk sensibilities of Modern Baseball with a dash of the heartfelt lyrics of the Front Bottoms. It wasn’t sophisticated music, but it touched him. It made him feel something fluttering in his chest and the singer was very earnest and kinda cute too. He had blue eyes and patchy stubble high schoolers grew. A black beanie on his dark hair and a cool Neck Deep t shirt on, so their taste in music was similar. 

“These guys are from my school, you should check them out, I think you’d enjoy them.” Tweek sent him two videos. He watched them both over and over again as he was writing a paper for his AP french class. He did enjoy them, he took the videos and imported them to his playlist. He would listen to them as he read for school. He listened to them as he was being driven to a private performance with a quartet for some French CEO. He listened to them before he did another performance with the Los Angeles philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl, a Star Wars themed night. The most whimsical thing he had ever done and the most fun he had ever known his parents to have. 

Tweek kept sending him things and on the night of his graduation in South Park, they were playing a big house party. That night Craig would be stepping out on the stage of the New York Philharmonic. It was the most important thing he had ever done and he felt he would never do anything like this ever again. He felt tears sting the corners of his eyes and by the time he got off stage, this wave of emotion washed over him.

He was awkward and he didn’t know how to process things. He wasn’t really all that great at processing his feelings. This wave of joy and fear and this strange empty feeling it was over made him cry all the way home. Silently so his parents wouldn’t worry and he was so overwhelmed. This was part of the big five, the top five orchestras in the US and he did it. He performed with them. 

“Are you awake?” He texted Tweek. He wanted to share something with someone, but he didn’t know how to go about this. How to start this conversation, but Tweek was good at this. Being open to emotions. He just wanted to tell someone how excited he was. He was so overjoyed and this was his chance to actually share with that with another person. His favourite person in the universe.

“Im at a party, did u get my vidos?” Tweek’s texting with off and riddled with spelling mistakes. He seemed a little drunk. He had that luxury of being young and having no responsibilities. He had never been drunk, the only parties he had gone to were boring industry parties. He wondered if he missed out on so many normal things pursuing his dream. 

“I really like this band that you keep sending me videos of, they’re amazing. They’re raw and talented, they just love music.” He could feel this love through their videos, this creative force. It was so rooted in being young and wanting more. It was so full of yearning and he understood that on a basic human level. “I just wanted to talk a little bit, I miss you.” He sent Tweek two hearts too. 

“I miss u 2 kitten. How was your concert 2nite?” Tweek’s messy texting always made him smile and he settled into the hotel bed and told him snippets. He laughed as Tweek stumbled over his words and he felt content with the world at large right now. That was always his problem, he struggled to find true contentment. While he loved what he did, it was his dream and he was accomplishing so much. He just missed being a kid sometimes, even if he knew he wasn’t good at it.

Thomas was the son of an oboe player in the New York philharmonic. He was twenty, blond and struggled to control his tourette’s syndrome. He was handsome though and he shook his hand so gently when his mother introduced them.

“Craig is young and doesn’t known anyone in New York, why don’t you take him out and show him some of the sights?” She was packing up her oboe with such care and precision, Craig knew she was a woman after his own heart. 

“Sure mom.” He suppressed a shudder. “I’ll take fuck, Craig out and show him around.” He put his hand on the small of his back and led him out the door. He skipped the tourist traps, the statue of liberty and Times Square. He took him to little gems of bookstores, where Craig struggled not to buy EVERYTHING. They had so many mangas he was interested in. Little gems of record stores, where the same struggle was real. They ended up at a little diner where he bought him cheese fries and a milkshake, still one of his favourite meals. He was a student at NYU and he was studying psychology. He wanted to learn about his tourettes and help others with the same condition. He was sweet and interesting and for the first time since Tweek, he didn’t mind spending time with someone his own age. 

“Can I, shit, take you out again?” Thomas dropped him off at the hotel and reached for a pale, freckled hand. He brought his hand up to his lips and Craig felt his cheeks flush in anticipation. 

“Yeah, I'd like that.” He put his number in Thomas’ phone and wondered if he had just been on his first real date. He practised that night and thought about Thomas and he was reviewing tomorrow’s schedule and thought about Thomas. His dad was going over the schedule for this week, an interview with Rolling Stone, a solo performance at Julliard, a favour to their music program.

“This will be good son, maybe we can tour the campus a bit.” He squeezed his slight shoulder gently. “Maybe we can even pick up some information about the school.” He was little by little trying to show Craig that maybe college wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe he would be willing to let go a little. Maybe Craig deserved a chance to get to be normal for a bit.

“Yeah, I'd like that.” He told him softly. He didn’t know if that’s what he wanted though. He was used to being under his parents’ watchful eye. He didn’t know how to make decisions on his own. He didn’t even know if he wanted to. He smiled up at his father as he picked up his viola and played for him. His favourite audience, he most captive audience.

Little did he know in a small mountain town in Colorado, a boy named Stan Marsh was his most captive audience. That at fifteen, he watched a performance of Craig Tucker and it sent him on this musical journey. That he looked at his big blue eyes and his delicate features and decided this was it. He was going to pick up the guitar, he was going to write love song after love song about a boy he didn’t know. That he wrote about blue eyes that held the secrets of the universe. That he imagined how soft black hair would look on worn cotton pillow cases and how pale freckled skin would feel under his finger tips. That soft doll cheeks and a sweet little smile with old fashioned metal braces made his heart skip. He watched the interviews and the performances. He listened to his play piece after piece and it touched his heart and spiked white hot want through this brain and his limbs and dick and all he could think about was Craig Tucker was the only person on this planet that made his mind creative, his heart full and his dick hard. That someday, he would meet this messy, endearing, passion boy and he would play a song for him that changed everything. That someday, they would come together creatively, professionally and personally. That Craig Tucker would change everything.

That one day, he had to leave New York and he had to leave Thomas, the first boy he ever liked. That they kissed so softly after a performance and he handed him a big bouquet of red roses. That he spent whatever little free time he had with him, kissing him and talking about art and music and they spent their time in museums and music shops and kissing on every solid surface they could. That Thomas pressed him up against the wall of his dorm room and his thigh was between his legs and he thrusted between Craig Tucker’s legs for the most delicious friction. He was so afraid to go further and when he broke Thomas’ heart by leaving, they were going to literally be in two different places. Craig was going back to Denver for a month to actually rest and then it was onto California to work on a movie score and Thomas was going to be here in New York, that long distance didn’t work. He was right, it didn’t and it would hurt more later than it would hurt today.

Craig spent that month in Denver listening to that band Tweek sent him and hiding out in little record and bookshops. He slept in until 9 and practised at his leisure. He was nineteen and burning out. He wanted to try something different and he wanted to show the world he was more than the fifteen year old who could gave that endearingly awkward interview on NPR, where he talked about Red Racer and Sailor Moon and the interviewer just laughed. He declined offers for private performances and guests on records. He got to be Craig Tucker for a few weeks and begged his dad to take him down to South Park to see his grandmother and Tweek.

“Just for a few days.” He told him softly. “I miss Tweek.” He looked over at his dad with his huge blue eyes and he couldn’t say no. Craig did everything that was required of him, he never complained about the long hours and the jet lag and the lack of free time. He did what was expected of him without being told most of the time and he had to reward him for that. He spent his time listening to music, practising his viola for fun, pieces he had been wanting to get back to that may not have been popular enough to record. He went to the coffee shop and saw Tweek and caught up with him. He looked at the stars and dreamt about what was next. He was mending a heart that wasn’t so much broken as a little bent. He closed his huge blue eyes and he took a deep breath for the first time in years. He had nothing to do, this time was all his.

By twenty two, he was ready for the next adventure. He felt he conquered what he set out to and he was ready for something new. Tweek told him that one of his favourite little indie bands, Nymph’s heart needed a string player. That they wanted to add some depth to their sound. He could play the viola and the harpsichord and this was different. This was a different sort of sound and he could feel the creativity flow through him. He looked at his dad with those huge blue eyes and asked him to make the call.

“Hello Eric Cartman?” He heard his dad saying from the next room. “My son is interested in playing with your band. He’s a string player, he’s very well versed in all sorts of music. I can scan his resume and some audio clips to you. No, he can’t come in and audition in person. He’s in Paris playing with their symphony orchestra for the next two weeks. Thank, I’ll be in touch.” His dad was scanning documents and collecting audio files, anything to make his son happy.

“Are you sure you want to do this? The pay is going to be lousy, you can’t travel while they’re recording this album. They might even expect you to do a tour.” He had his big hands on Craig’s slight shoulders. 

“I'm ready for a new challenge. I feel I've done all I can for the time being.” He wrapped his skinny arms around his dad’s expanding middle and squeezed gently. “You’re always there for me and I appreciate this. Thanks dad.” He felt his dad pat his back gently and went back to making another dream happen for his son.

Craig touched down in South Park about three weeks later. He came on a commercial flight with a slight bit of jet lag. He walked through the airport with excitement crackling under his skin. A new challenge, a new sound. A band with musicians who were just as focused and talented as him. He listened to the entire Nymph’s Heart catalog for the past three weeks. Made notes on the arrangements, followed the lyrical patterns. He wondered how they would treat him, he hoped like he was any other guest musician, he wasn't special. He was a twenty two year who was in town for a new job.

“You’re going to stay with Tweek, I have to get back to Denver to be with your mom. Trish will be at her place, you two have a chance to reconnect.” His dad looked over at him. He hadn’t spent any real time with his sister in at least, two years. He would see her at the holidays or facetime with her. But it wasn’t the same and he felt he didn’t really know her as a person. He looked forward to that.

“Im looking forward to that. I miss them both.” He yawned and stretched his skinny arms over his head. “You’re coming into the practise space with me though yes?” He hadn’t been out of his dad’s sight in years. He was a little nervous. No one to make the decisions for him, this was him on his own.

“I'm going to drop you off and talk to the manager, Eric Cartman. He sounded young on the phone.” His dad told him. “I'm going to see if Tweek will come by and pick up your bags.” He put his hand on his back affectionately before pulling into a nondescript building parking lot. His dad brought in his viola for him and told him they were going to rent the harpsichord. He could hear him talking to the manager, a short overweight dude in his early twenties and their lead guitarist, a tall redhead with curly hair. 

While they went over things with his dad, he peeked in at the band. They looked like your typical indie pop punk band. Scruffy and tired and with various levels of grunge to them. He really wanted to talk about music to their lead singer Stan Marsh. He wanted to ask him all sorts of things about his lyrics and his process. What did he listen to? Where did his inspiration come from? How he arranged his melodies and where did the idea to layer strings with their simple arrangements come to play. He peeked through the half closed door at him, he had his head down, leaning over his guitar. Dark greasy hair in his eyes and a worn black beanie on his head. He noted that he was tunelessly just tinkering with his guitar and he felt his pale freckled cheeks sort of heat up. He didn't know why and this hadn’t really happened before without provection. 

“It's really nice to meet you Craig.” Kyle the tall ginger shook his hands. He had big strong hands with calloused fingertips and a confident handshake. He gave him a little closed mouth smile. He felt shy and awkward all of a sudden, maybe he shouldn’t have done this. Maybe he wasn’t ready for this. He wanted to try something new, he wanted to play with a different sort of style of music. He wanted to make friends. It was so lame to think this, he was twenty two, he shouldn’t be desperate for friends. But he was. He was embarrassed to admit he was. He was lonely and wanted to see what it felt like to be twenty two. 

“It's nice to meet you too, I really look forward to playing with you guys.” He followed him into the practise room and took in these greasy hipster boys. Stan Marsh looked a little green, maybe he was nervous too. When he shook his hand, he felt this little spark under his skin, this little current. His hands were slightly rough and big and he had the same sort of calluses on his fingertips like Kyle and him. He looked up into his big dark blue eyes and he felt like this is where he should be. He was still nervous, but he just felt this weird sense of calm for a moment. He was about to open his mouth to speak when this blond loud person interrupted them and called him cutie. The drummer Kenny was the most social of them and he made him nervous. He felt like he had to impress them. 

When they played, it all fell into place. The backbeat of the bass and drums with a crunchier rather than clean guitar sound. The way the sound layered over each other. When he joined in, he did what he did best, let the music take over. Don't think, just feel the music. He closed his eyes for a moment and any nervousness melted away. He was doing what he was put on this planet to do. He wasn’t a social animal, he wasn’t going to make great strides in the world. He was here to make beautiful music. He heard them stop playing around him. Mouths agape, eyes on him, now he was feeling awkward again. He must have disappointed them. This wasn’t what they expected, the little violaist prodigy was a label he was never really that comfortable with. It was bestowed onto him without his say. He always felt he disappointed people with it.

“You play so well.” Token their bassist told him washing away any lingering fears he had. He wasn’t alone, he was going to be part of something. He smiled at them when he heard the knock at the door. He knew that voice that asked for him. Tweek always took care of him. Tweek made sure he was comfortable, made sure he had time to be a kid. He jumped in his arms and the world felt at peace. It was spinning on the right axis and everything would fall into place as long as he had Tweek with him. He relied on him more than he should have and he knew their relationship had shades of codependency on his part. 

As the band took breaks and they drank, he felt awkward again. He had been drunk twice in his life. Once with Thomas at a dorm party he took him to when they were dating. No one knew who he was outside of the odd music student. Most young people weren’t interested in a classical musician. They drank cheap keg beer and listened to music and he met people. He felt light and happy during the night and like someone hit him with their car in the morning. He got drunk at an industry party at seventeen. His parents weren’t keeping the eye on him they should have. He remembered glasses of fizzy champagne and how light they felt on his tongue. 

This was the part when he had to tell them he wasn’t like other people their age. He didn’t drink, he had never taken drugs. He didn’t go to parties, he didn’t go on dates. He didn’t kiss random boys and he still had his virginity intact. He wished Tweek was there, he always felt normal with Tweek. He would subtly change the topic away from him, put it back where it needed to be. He looked over at Kenny passed out over his drum kit, that was unfortunate. He looked at Stan and held his gaze for a moment, blue eyes on blue eyes. 

He was taking his jacket off, it was so warm in there and he was usually a person who was always cold. The concert Lunar Vacation t shirt he cut up in hasty rebellion. That would show his dad, if he could show his flat stomach off. He was always swathed in head to toe clothing, he wore too many layers and he was under lock and key. But today, he decided to taste the sweet temptation of doing something without parental approval. He looked at Stan, he was gaining the courage to go talk to him when he noticed he looked more than green, he read the signs, he remembered he had too much to drink. It shouldn’t have shocked him when he felt the splash of vomit on his shirt first, running down his skinny jeans to his worn black vans. It pooled in his shoes and he jumped back out of shock. It had happened, people got drunk, people puked. This wasn’t a once in a lifetime event. But Stan looked like he wanted to die and he felt horrible for him.

“Let's get you cleaned up.” Tweek spoke before he could. Tweek’s touch was familiar and gentle, pulling the soiled shirt off and running it under the sink so it wouldn’t stain with beer tinged vomit. He gave him a warm wet washcloth and let Craig wipe down his torso and his jeans best he could. God this was humiliating, he felt just second hand embarrassment waft over him for Stan. He stepped out of his shoes and socks and Tweek gave him his combat boots. 

“I’ll go in my socks, you need to be warm.” Tweek was unbuttoning his green shirt and pulling the white t shirt underneath off, handing it to him. It was warm and smelled like coffee and cologne. Something sharp and citrusy. He wrapped his blue jacket around his shoulders and went back to collect Kenny. He apparently did this all the time. This seemed to be nothing new.

“When we get home, I’ll run you a bath kitten and then we can order some food in.” Tweek drove so easily, he made it look like nothing. He dropped Kenny off with an exasperated looking young man in his mid twenties and waved as they pulled out. Tweek was true to his word, he ran him a hot bath with a galaxy themed bath bomb and they ordered thai food and talked all night. He was clean and warm and wearing a giant Neck Deep hoodie that went down to his knees and baggy pyjama pants. He was content and fed and looking over at Tweek as he cleaned the food up.

“That Stan Marsh is interesting.” He told Tweek airily. He was trying to be casual, cool. He was intrigued and he wanted to talk to him and get to know him. But something held him back and he didn’t know what it was. He was afraid maybe, that he wouldn’t like the person behind the viola prodigy. He was so used to that label, he almost didn’t know how to be a person anymore. He was a wind up doll that played the viola and gave the robotic right answers in interviews. He was polite, responsible. He was perfect on the surface. Humble and talented, quiet and docile. He was so afraid if people peeled back that layer, they wouldn’t like what lies beneath. An awkward, quiet, emotionally stunted twenty two year old who had never been to high school and hadn’t done any of the normal milestones for someone his age. That he needed Tweek to be the bridge sometimes. He needed him to show him how to act around these people, he needed him to do so many things. He felt small and stupid and young. He sort of folded in on himself and he had always done that since he was young when he felt uncomfortable. He didn’t even know why he felt this weird rush of emotions, he had been having them frequently since this whole thing started. Stan was making him feel things he hadn’t felt in a long time and it overwhelmed him.

“He’s a cool dude once you get past all his bullshit.” Tweek agreed. He could feel Tweek’s green eyes on him, silently taking him apart. He could read Craig better than he could read himself. Kitten looked flustered and overwhelmed and it hit him all at once. He had a crush. He liked Stan Marsh with his over emotional outbursts and his awkward attempts to get to know him. Stan liked him too, but he had always known that. He remembered in highschool seeing a picture of Craig up in his locker. His photoshoot from his second album, wearing a big navy sweater and holding his viola like it was a precious thing. He never said anything to him, maybe there was part of him that didn’t want him to know. He was afraid of the questions, he had to protect him. Craig wasn’t a zoo animal to gawk at, he was a person. 

“I really want to talk to him about his process, his lyrics and the melodies.” Craig’s small hands were curled around a hot cup of cherry blossom tea. “He’s really talented.” His voice trailed off and his cheeks were pink. He felt like he did the night he played with the New York philharmonic. Just overwhelmed with the emotions he was feeling. He knew Tweek knew, he always knew. He felt a warm hand squeeze his shoulder as Tweek went to the back of the house towards the bedroom. He lived in a little craftsman house that he worked and saved for. He bought it when it was run down and needed a little work. Working after the coffee shop hours, working all weekend. Now it was cozy and clean and new looking. Craig had his own bedroom there. He put his half drank tea in the sink and went to bed. Laying there awake, looking up at the ceiling. He reached over and grabbed his phone, slipping his airpods in. He turned on the relaxation playlist he made one summer night when sleep evaded him and he had practise early in the morning. 

He wanted to pretend nothing was different the next day at practise. That no one puked on anyone or got too drunk they couldn’t play their instruments. But it was as bad as the day before. He made his peace with Stan and he was even able to tease him a bit, he worked up the nerve for that. He really had high hopes for today, he could bond with them through music, that's what he knew, that’s what he connected to people with. He found himself locked in a closet for most of the day though helping Stan look for a speaker Kenny wanted. He had to share a plate of spaghetti with him too, apparently these people only owned five plates? The whole thing was a wash, he was a little disappointed these people weren’t as interested in music as he as. When Tweek took him home, he was quiet, he wasn’t ready to talk about the day yet.

“I think I want to take a walk by myself.” He mumbled to Tweek. South Park was always a little chillier than anywhere else for some reason. He wrapped his arms around his middle a little tighter and found himself walking towards the practise space. He saw the lights were still one, someone was still there. He peeked inside and saw Stan. This was his chance to get to talk to Stan by himself. No distractions, no one to embarrass him. This was all him, all him trying to get to know a boy who was interesting. That held the same sort of passion for music he did. He had to get past his shyness, his awkwardness. Show Stan he was interested, that he wanted to forge a connection with him. It would be hard and he would have to open himself up. He wasn’t good that and he could feel himself inwardly cringe. But it was here and it was in front of him. He could do this.

“Hi, can I come in?” He asked Stan, voice barely audible. “I left my NASA shirt here.” He saw it sitting on the piano bench. He brought it just in case his sweater made him hot. 

“Of course, come in.” Stan’s cheeks were tinged with the slightest bit of pink and they stood in there in loaded silence. “Do you want me to walk you home? It's on my way.” He asked Craig. He nodded and they walked in comfortable silence. He got brave, he was the bravest he had ever been and looked over at Stan.

“Can you hold my hand?” He looked over at him out of the corner of those giant blue eyes. Big beautiful blue doe eyes. Long dark lashes and he fucking knew it. His best feature were his eyes.

“Oh, yeah, I mean, if you want.” Stan reached for one of his pale freckled hands. “They’re cold.” He rubbed one between his to warm him up. He liked him. He could admit it. He liked him and he wanted Stan to like him. He felt this rush of affection for this messy, endearing, imperfect boy in front of him. He wanted to kiss him, just press his lips to his, but he didn’t. He was too shy, he just couldn’t bring himself to make the first move.

“Do you want to go out this weekend?” Stan said this all in one breath. “We can make plans together if you want this week?” He added so softly it broke Craig’s heart a little. He was feeling shy too. He felt like he did and they were both fighting the urge to run or be embarrassed or be too shy to function. 

“Yes, I mean, yeah, I would like that.” He smiled at Stan as they stood on Tweek’s porch like two eager teenagers. They didn’t kiss, but he squeezed Stan’s hand before he went inside. He knew Tweek was trying not to watch through the window, he didn’t really like he went out on his own. But he gave him his space because he was a good friend like that. He was grateful for this, Tweek letting him figure it all out on his own.

Stan came up to him on a cold Wednesday afternoon with a smile playing on his face. He had planned it, the perfect first date for two musicians. They were going to a concert. Joyce Manor was playing in Aurora, a little punk music venue. It wasn’t pretty with cool mixed drinks and a coat check. It was a dingy little punk club that served their beer in tall boy cans. They would have to hold their coats all night and there was nowhere to sit. That didn’t matter though, they would be seeing their favourite pop punk band. Craig easily accepted, this was his first date in three years. This was a fresh start and the butterflies of something new.

He tried on all his clothes, trying to find something cool enough. Nothing felt right and he wondered if he was cool enough for Stan Marsh. He pulled on a long sleeve black and white striped tee shirt and modeled it with his skinny black pants that showed just a little sliver of ankle. He couldn’t wear his vans, Tweek threw those out after the vomiting incident. He searched through his closet for something that wouldn’t be completely out of place at a punk club, he found his old converse. He drew stars and moons on them with a silver sharpie. These were cool enough, they had to be, he had no other choice.

“I'm leaving for my concert.” He was pulling on his navy blue wool toggle coat and grabbed his scarf. He didn’t wear the chullo hat as much as he did when he was young and it was sort of a trademark in his concerts. But he wasn’t going to his concert, he was going out with a boy and he wanted to impress him. He smoothed down his neat hair and stood in front of Tweek. Silently hoping he told him that he had nothing to worry about, this boy liked him no matter what.

“Have fun and be careful kitten.” Tweek put his big hands on his slight shoulders. He had a superman bandaid around one of his fingers, slicing through it while slicing a bagel for a customer. His hands were littered with scars and cuts and each one told a story. “If you need anything, just text me.” He pulled him into a hug before letting him go to Stan. They both peeked out the window and saw Stan standing on the porch with a bouquet of grocery store daisies. They were dyed bright colours and they were so lame and so earnest, sort of like Stan himself. Craig couldn’t help but feel this rush of endearment towards this boy. He smelled like sharp cologne body spray and he didn’t have his beanie on. His hair was shaggy and dark and it fell into his eyes as he looked down in flushed embarrassment at the flowers. Craig reached forward and gently pushed it out of his eyes. He put his hands on Stan’s broad shoulders for a moment and he felt his own cheeks heating up. This was his first date in three years, god, he hoped he was good at it.

“You look so beautiful.” Stan took his hand as they walked to his beat up pick up truck he had since high school. He cleaned his car for this, he took a shower and picked out his coolest clothing. He wanted everything to be perfect for Craig. For this dream of a boy, this beautiful, talented boy that he had no business touching. He must have cured cancer or stopped a war in a previous life. This boy who looked so nervous, who was quivering slightly. He couldn’t believe it, why would Craig Tucker be nervous to date someone mediocre like him? But he was and he gave him a small little smile as they drove to the concert. He worked up the nerve to put his arm around his thin shoulders, he felt like he was sixteen again and trying to work up the nerve to ask someone to prom. His palms were sweaty and he was trying to concentrate on the road, but he could feel Craig’s presence next to him, his smell and the warmth of his wool coat. 

“Do you want a drink? Anything you like.” They stood at the tiny bar and each ordered a miller high life in a tallboy can. Craig hadn’t had much experience in drinking in general. Beer seemed like the safest choice for this evening. The venue was dingy and it was loud. He had to strain to hear Craig when he spoke, leaning in close to him. Not that he minded, he had no concept of personal space when it came to Craig. He watched as Craig took a drag off his juul, sweet mango vapour came from the end.

“Im trying to quit smoking.” He admitted to him. “Bad habit, nervous habit. This helps.” He admitted sticking it back in his pants pocket. Craig seemed like a person with a lot of anxiety, not that he couldn’t relate. Craig looked over at Stan and put his small pale hand in his and squeezed. A simple gesture, a sweet gesture. They got closer as the night went on, both finding their footing and growing braver. By the time Joyce Manor came on, opening with Falling in Love Again, it was one of Craig’s favourite songs, he remembered him telling him that once when they were talking about music. It couldn’t have been better, opening with a hopeful song.

He heard Craig singing alone and his voice was awful. It was the cutest, most endearing thing. This nasal, out of tune voice just singing their heart out. He had this look of pure joy on his face, just enjoying every moment. He sang to the next song too, Heart Tattoo. By the time they made it to the last song of their set, Constant Headache, they were both singing. It was the most fun he had at a concert that wasn’t one of theirs. He was disappointed when it ended and Craig was chattering excitedly in his ear.

“This is the most fun I've had in a long time.” He admitted to him. Craig looked over at him and moved close to Stan. He let him put his arm around his thin waist and pull him into his side. The adrenaline was pounding and he wondered what was next. They never really planned anything past the concert. They drove and it was cold and the snow was just starting to fall. It was beautiful, so beautiful, the snow sparkling in the sky like a thousand glittering stars. Stan came to a stop in front of the frozen Stark’s Pond and put the car in park. They sat in the warm car, just gazing out at the scenery. 

“It's so beautiful, I love watching the snow.” Craig told him softly. The radio was playing Belle and Sebastian on low and the snow swirled around them. It was perfect, it was this perfect moment and Craig looked over at him. He leaned in and Craig closed his eyes. The kiss was soft and sweet at first. Chaste, Stan put his arms around Craig’s waist. He pulled him close and felt Craig wrap skinny arms around the back of his neck. He gently parted his lips as if he was trying this all out. It was tentative and Stan didn’t have to ask twice, he pushed his tongue into his mouth.

 

Craig laid down on the bench seat and Stan felt like he just fit on his skinny frame, they just fitted together like they were a perfect set. He pressed every inch of himself to him. His hands were under his coat, he could feel his thin his waist was under the layers and it killed him. He wanted more, he wanted to feel more. He was nudging Craig’s legs open, pressing himself to him. The heat was on low and Craig was pulling off his parka as well. They kissed like it was their last day on earth. Like they could be flung from this earthly plane and be fine with that. Craig’s skin tasted sweet under his mouth, bruises on his collarbone and his throat. Stan was trying to be gentle, take this slow. But it was all in front of him, everything he had ever wanted. He heard Craig whimper softly and press his body tighter to his, their hips flush against each other. They rolled against each other like teenagers discovering the Pandora’s box of sex. One of Craig’s legs was wrapped around his hip, trying to pull him in. He hadn’t felt this in ages, he hadn’t wanted someone like this since Thomas. He felt like his skin was heating up from the inside and all the rational parts of Craig’s brain were turning hazy and rosy coloured. 

“You feel really good.” He sighed softly. “Don’t stop.” He panted softly. Stan thought he was going to pass out. He had this dream so many times and it always ended with an alarm in his face or his mom screaming to get ready for school. Or Kyle shouting through the door to start getting ready for practise. This was not a dream, this was Craig Tucker, his fantasy, underneath him, rolling his skinny hips to his. He reached for Craig’s skinny jeans, his fingers on the zipper, ready to pull it down.

Craig knew how this was going to end. That if he didn’t use the neglected rational part of his brain, he would lose his virginity in the bench seat of Stan’s beat up pickup truck. That it would be rushed and fast and he wanted it to happen a little different. “Wait, we should stop before we get ahead of ourselves.” His voice sounded foreign to him, slightly slurred from the high of getting off like a teenager. “I need to tell you something.” He looked down at his hands in his lap, he pulled the sleeves of his long sleeve t shirt over them. That was a nervous tell of his, pulling his sleeves over his hands. “Im a virgin.” His voice was barely audible. Stan leaned in close to him, resting his forehead on Craig’s. 

He didn’t seem to care though. It didn’t matter to him if they had to take this slow. He would have gone at a snail’s pace for Craig. He put his thumb under Craig’s chin and tilted it up so he could face him, look him in the eye. Craig had beautiful blue eyes and they were so big and so expressive. They were nervous, scared he would reject him. He wondered who had rejected Craig before because of this.

“Craig, it doesn’t matter to me.” He told him softly. “We can go at your pace.” He promised him. He climbed off Craig and sat next to him. Craig nestled into his side and he tried to will his erection down, he prayed he didn’t see it. He put his arm around him and kissed the side of his head. He would do anything for this boy. Anything this boy would ask of him, he was wrapped around his slim little finger.

“Let's get you home.” He would take Craig home and they would stand on his porch, neither quite ready to leave each other. He leaned in and kissed Craig goodnight, chastely and sweetly. He waited until Craig was safely inside and pulled out of the driveway and drove towards his house he shared with all his meddling bandmates. He was thinking, his head swimming. Just like Craig’s was. That he revealed this huge, hidden secret thing about himself. He thought Stan would run, the twenty two year old virgin, that would scare anyone off after a first date. But he here he was, dropping him off and kissing him so fucking sweetly, he wanted to cry.

Craig went inside and sneaked up the stairs like he was a teenager coming home after curfew. Not that Tweek would have stopped him, but he would have questioned him about the evening. He wanted this to be his, his first date, his experience. He loved Tweek and he appreciated him, but he didn’t need a father right now. He needed to strip away all his cool clothing and wash his face. Brush his teeth and set all his alarms for tomorrow. He needed to climb in under the covers and put his airpods in. Listen to all the songs that reminded him of Stan, listen to all the songs he wanted to remind him of Stan. He thought about what they were going to tell their friends tomorrow, he thought about what he was going to tell his family. He thought about all these little details about Stan. The way his hair curled around his ears and how when he was nervous, he put his hands in his pocket. How he held his hand at the concert and how his hand fit so perfectly into Stan’s. This was his night and he held it to him like it was something to be savoured. 

The beginning of something important. That calm in the air before lightening cracked in a summer storm. The way he felt on stage when he took a deep breath and put his bow to the strings. He smiled to himself and he could just feel it everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly Craig's backstory and what led him to Stan. Some of the dialog is slightly different because it's more focused on Craig and he remembers things just slightly different. Enjoy.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's Art for the AU if anyone wants to see their designs and other drawings:  
> [Viola and Indie Boy Art](https://kuroxanarts.tumblr.com/post/184191078618/staig-from-my-upcoming-fic-cuz-im-writing-staig)
> 
> If you want to follow the artist/writers of the AU:  
> KuroXan:  
> [Tumblr](https://kuroxanarts.tumblr.com)  
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/kuroxann/)
> 
> OrangeTree:  
> [Tumblr](https://judesweeetwine.tumblr.com)


End file.
